Who do you trust?

I’ve kept you out of things, Tom, because I’ve always known that your instincts were legitimate, and I wanted you to know very little of things that would make you an accomplice, for your own protection. I never blamed you for the setbacks the family took under Sonny; I know you were in a position of limited power, and you did your best to advise and caution him. What I am saying is that now, for how long I do not know, you will be the Don. If what I think has happened is true; I will leave tonight, and absolutely no one will know how to contact me. And even you are not to try to reach me unless it is absolutely necessary. I give you complete power: over Neri… Fredo, everyone. I am trusting you with the lives of my wife and children, and the future of this family, solely resting on your judgment and talent.

~ Michael Corleone, The Godfather II (1974)

Trust is the fabric holding together human existence. Though some trust their instincts, others trust experiences. Trusting the gut is a complex matter. Listening to the gut is easier without din. When noise takes over, mass opinion and experiences seem to be better. The decision-making paradigm thus adjusts to a perceived efficient tool of external stimulus, while ignoring the reality of the fact that even each leaf of the same tree has a different colour! Herd mentality is quick to propagate foreign mental models and aggregation of experiences becomes the primary focus, as opposed to leveraging these experiences.

Excessive focus on the past leads to misplaced trust in systems, which are perceived to be more ‘reliable’ than people; without realising that these systems are subservient to the people who developed them. The relationship between man and machine goes back to ages, however, our current dependence would have made Miss Havisham’s proud:

“I’ll tell you, what real love is. It is blind devotion, unquestioning self-humiliation, utter submission, trust and belief against yourself and against the whole world, giving up your whole heart and soul to the smiter – as I did!”

~ Miss Havisham, Great Expectations by Charles Dickens

Can we do that? Well! Are we doing that? Well!!

We do trust the hospital, the bank etc. So, then is our trust being guided by circumstances? In cases outside our purview of understanding, we offer utter submission. The success of this strategy is dependent on the level of certainty (security and quality checks) a system offers, by way of processes.

All such structures of engagement are a result of people guiding them, with delivery being a function of intent, cohesiveness, ability, preparedness and other external aspects. Thus, the more we run away from people, the more they seem to impact our lives; albeit indirectly and in a much more pronounced manner.

The whole matter is about people and ultimately about us, as people too! It is about the choice of ours for each one of us – a circle of trusted friends and family, whom one can fall back upon and vice versa. The strength of this nest is galvanised every time they can stand up for each other. This bunch doesn’t change opinion by seeing cool cars and hot company, for this is the gang that trusts you back. The only question is, are you in your nest?